scenario 1 would be one with huge risks and uncertainties, she knows she stopped loving me since a while back. so if she chooses scenario 1, she is willing to give it another shot, to be with me and rekindle lost love. it has a chance of failing, meaning we might get hurt again. if it works, then it works! to be honest, im not very confident with scenario 1. after all that we have been through, especially during the first 2 months, it has already happened before because we progressed too quickly(?) she wasnt sure of her feelings for me. love vs. like. and the current situation is that we are struggling to be cohesive as one, even though we enjoy each other's company and TLC. i love her and i always show it. another thing i also always show is displeasure when she is unwilling to let me into her mind. so this route is gonna be hard for her and harder for me. i will need a huge ball sac of patience and confidence to win my woman's heart again. this is definitely one of life's biggest challenge put in front of me. if i win, i win her + stronger love. if i lose, i lose everything including a part of myself. however the pain from scenario 1 will be about the same as now though, knowing i did give my all and have no regrets for the relationship has reaches its utmost potential.

scenario 2 will be shorter and "sweeter". in her mind she is sure that she has given her best and she is positive that this relationship can no longer go any further. she is willing to let me go. as for me, its gonna fucking hard to swallow it down, however a slight condolence is that she thought hard about her decision, thats all :/ then i will be incredibly dejected, for this is the first time i tried to do everything right in a relationship (90% as compared to the previous relationships) and yet failed to keep the girl i love long enough for the relationship to mature and blossom.

right now, while i am still thinking clear in my head, although scenario 2 sounds more advantageous towards me, i CANNOT live my life ending this relationship just like that. i just cant, i hate it when the thing i adore is being taken away from me and im not given a 2nd chance to win it back. (i sound as if winning back is so easy and im full of confidence :/)

i guess its true that they say love covers.