I'm sorry. I intruded your pirvacy. I didn't mean to read your blog without your permission, I just felt really insecure. My insecurity was devouring me. I'm really very apologetic, I can't seem to stop blaming myself, I felt like I just betrayed your trust. I couldn't control my insecurity, I kept feeling that im just a rebound to you. I don't want to be like Adam when Steffi ditched him for her ex. I dont want history to repeat itself like how she left me for someone else. I'm so sorry, I really am a loser like you said. If there's a chance for you to see this, I'm sorry please forgive me.

Im starting to fall in love with you and there's no turning back for me. Im being a selfish bastard, I only thought of my own feelings. I just don't want to lose you and furthermore I don't want to lose you because of my insecurity. Am I your rebound? Do you still want your ex back? Do you still have feelings for him? What if he wants you back one day, will you follow him?

This sickening inferiority, fear and insecurity is eating me. I tried to be more confident in myself and have confidence in you. I really tried, I'm sorry I failed this time. I really want to last with you and I don't want to lose you.

Shut up already Alex, control yourself. Stop yourself from tearing.