why is every song i hear sinking into me, every sad love song. oh my god, the whole mixed feelings thing is churning every bit of me. im no emo momo, but this time the happy juice in me ran out.

i can still recall the time when my sister went to america for like what 6,7 months? i had like almost 7 months of freedom and peace when she was gone, and the thing is that that 7 months was really long. when good things happen (eg. holidays), we will usually whine about how short it is blah blah and we want it longer. and when good things happen for too long, you will start to feel differently about it. you feel like its so boring, too much good stuff at once, getting sick of it. SO WHAT HAPPENS IF A BAD THING IS GONNA HAPPEN FOR 8 MONTHS? feel like shit for a few months, then you learn to live with it? or what, feel like shit by day and months to come? worse still, this bad thing has got to do with me directly, unlike the whole sister and america thing which is kind of indirect impact on my life. i always say being optimistic will help all, well it does to a certain extent. i pray to god, to give me strength during this time of trial. gonna need a real strong positive mindset this time.

school this year is gonna be a hell of a crazy busy train ride. one semester to study 6,7 subjects and to get at least grade b, i hope? i have to really chiong my grades up, i have to get in SMU no matter what :( omg, i received news from muni and edwin that business calculus is gonna take place every thursday or something? the ONLY lepak day for me. goodness, please dont do this to me. this one cannot play one.

so this is probably one of the craziest month and many more to come in years. never felt so messed up in a really long time. i must conquer this. RAWR.

penguin babe sent me this tumblr picture of this perfect boyfriend list

this particular sentence really give me the qiang boost i need.